Doing Pain Well

I have some Christian friends who are going through Some Stuff. Among them, I have a friend going through a divorce, one has become a caregiver for a parent, and many others going through huge, painful life changes.

Something that makes me sad is how many of them feel like they should be handling it better. Like if they were a better Christian, they wouldn't be down about the divorce/caregiving/life change. They would be completely patient, kind, buddha/zen, unruffled, fully at peace.

That is a complete load of crap.

We are told that when there are troubles, we will be comforted, and we will not be alone. The Bible doesn't say that we are above emotion, or sadness, or anger. Someday we will be, but not in this life. Our overall demeanor is hopefully one of peace, but that doesn't mean we're peaceful as Christians all the time.

Anyway, what I tell people is this: It's ok to be sad, upset, angry (see Psalms, especially 22 and 119). Don't let it run your life. I would be freaked out if you went through a divorce and it wasn't bothering you. Some life events are painful, and to try to grit your teeth and smile your way through them is a lie, and I firmly believe it can kill you.

A quote I read somewhere says "And living as though unscathed is exhausting, like a play that never ends." It's ok to be affected by what's going on in your life. Keep your relationship with God as a top priority, ask for help when you think you don't need it, and let those around you help share your burden.

To me, an authentic Christian is someone who goes through a hard time or struggle, is open about what's going on and what they're feeling/thinking about it. Fake smiling hurts other people who are hurting, making them feel alone, and it hurts you.

I guess my point is, keep it real, yo :)